Cups Of Pee: A lesson in following instructions.

22 Nov

We’ve all opened a new toy… seen the instruction manual with READ FIRST in big bold letters across the front and thought Nah, I’ll figure it out. Well… I got my new Persona Fertility Monitor in the mail the other day (bought brand new for a steal off eBay) and promptly opened up the little machine ignoring the instruction booklet entirely. I was in a hurry, being on the 2nd day of my cycle already… and anyway, how hard can a little monitor that analyses your pee be to operate? Open monitor, pee on stick, right? Wrong.

When you open the monitor and push the little m button, it knows you’re on day one of your cycle (i.e. Aunt Flo has just arrived) I quickly figured out that if you hold the button down it flicks through day numbers (if you, like I did, pushed it the day after you’ve begun your cycle) and hurrah we’re off! It flashes a little yellow light, and my mini Sherlock within deduced that it wanted my pee. So I gave it my pee. It was 1.50pm; Middle of the day; On my one day off. Why is this information important? Because had I read the instructions I would have known that it requires you to pee on a stick at the same time of every day, ok… doable. I often work from home. Inconvenient, but doable. But then I would also have read that it requires your first urine of the day. Now, I’m ok at holding my wee when I need too, but that’s insane.

So now we live our life alongside cups of wee. Everyday. Cups of morning wee. Sometimes, when I’m in a hurry, I just pop back home into the loo to dip the stick in the wee and slide it into the monitor and run out again… on these particular days, my loving husband has been known to ask Are we saving these for something dear? Bless him… I think he was freaked out enough by my Mooncup when it first moved in (I have been known to leave it clean in the pan after I’ve washed and boiled it… he calls it my period soup. I know, gross.) And now he has to deal with cups of pee. Poor husband.

Now, if I could just get knocked up, we could ditch the pee cups (and the Mooncup) all together.

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